Today we walked to Ubud from our homestay. It was around a one and a half hour very slow walk (down Bangkiang Sidem road) through the countryside, which is a lot in this Bali heat, but completely worth it. This is the quietness and greenery I had hoped to find in downtown Ubud, but have yet to.
This has been a long time coming. Internally & externally. Especially internally. I’ve always been driven – driven to do, to ‘succeed’, to excel, to create, to go. But along the way, I’ve realized that this need to succeed is short lived. I succeed at something, I feel the high, and then an emptiness creeps over like a vine tightening around my legs, growing up around my chest, and threatening to squeeze the very life out of me. The emptiness of, “What next? What now?”